[Ask to see what's under his bandages sometime, Kuzuryuu, if you really don't believe hamsters can have wraths.]

Hardly a lab rat.

[He gives this some thought.]

I would be tempted to use something more akin to acolyte or disciple, but you do not quite match up to such standards. However I assure you it is more humane than that. Worry not.

[Jeez it's not like he's experimenting on you or something sort-of-friend. And no comment on the looking into it too much apparently.]