[In the middle of this conversation, Pekoyama returns to the inn room she and Kuzuryuu are currently sharing in Cianwood. She hasn't been gone for more than a few minutes before she returns, knocking twice and entering once she receives acknowledgement. She'll make herself comfortable somewhere near him before turning to ask,]
[Thank you for knocking, Peko. That gives Kuzuryuu enough time to hurriedly hide the brush he was using on Michiko under his pillow. Because he totally was not just brushing his Persian for no reason other than to brush her and make her feel pretty and appreciated. That was absolutely not happening. No, he was definitely just sitting here on the bed and off-handedly petting her while he fools around with his Pokégear.]
[Young master, please. As if Peko would judge you for brushing your Pokémon. Itazurakko is following like always, jumping up onto the bed next to her and just making himself comfortable right. Right on the pillow. Hope you like your pillow with a side of Sneasel fur.
But right, she'd been about to ask him a question. Shifting slightly on the bed itself, she rests her hands on her knees and looks toward him. Why is this so difficult. Why.]
How do you describe our present relationship?
[She needs to know so she can change her facebook status. STAT.]
[Nobody must know...okay, no, he's aware that he can't hide this from Peko forever. As if he could even tell the difference between Sneasel fur and Houndoom fur. It'll probably go completely unnoticed, to be honest.]
[What WON'T go unnoticed is that question she just asked. That... she sure did just ask that. No warning or anything just...okay, we are having this conversation now.]
[She did indeed just ask that, and is waiting patiently for his answer. Is she nervous about this? Why would she be nervous about this, there's definitely no reason to be nervous about this.
Maybe it's just because she isn't sure if it's going to make him mad. Yes. That's definitely it.]
If someone were to ask if we were friends, how would you like me to respond?
[Well he's definitely not mad. He's not sure what he is...probably confused, mostly, but definitely not mad.]
Oh. [Yes, better. He's on the same page now, if nothing else. He leans back against his pillow, frowning slightly.] It's not like...it's much of a secret anymore. Our whole class knows already and you know how half of those fuckers are. They run their mouths like there's no tomorrow, so...
[...]
...What do you want to say?
[Kuzuryuu, you're not answering the question. What are you even...stop. Just stop.]
[When he leans back, Itazurakko moves to try to get under his hand. If you're going to be that close to him, you'd better pet him, small trainer. That is what you are there for.]
So it would be acceptable to explain to people that I am your hitman?
[She brushes a loose strand of hair away from her face and nods once. If Kuzuryuu's not concerned about the other members of their class telling people... then it is much simpler for her to respond to strangers as such.
Then she pauses and looks to him again, tilting her head slightly as her lips edge into the hints of a confused frown. Why... is he asking her that. Why.]
Is... that not what you wish me to say? [He had been the one to say that they should act like regular classmates to start with. And then this is butting up against the whole you're not a tool thing that she's still (still!) grappling with.]
N-No! Don't sa-- hey! [Kuzuryuu cuts off at a low, yowling growl from the Persian at his side. Judging by the way she perked her head up and started growling, fur standing on end, Michiko doesn't exactly approve of Itazurakko trying to horn in on her petting time. This is her human, go find your own because you can't have this one. Back off, brat-weasel, before she claws your eyes out.]
Michiko! Itazurakko! [MY GOD THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THEY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT, CAN YOU TWO PLEASE JUST NOT. HE HAS TWO HANDS. HE CAN PET YOU BOTH. SO QUIT IT.]
[...Michiko's still going to glare at the stupid brat-weasel from Kuzuryuu's other side though. She's watching you, fuckstick. She's watching you.]
Goddamn. Anyway look, I... [Lord, how to explain this. Is it too late to have Pokémon break out in a fight in his lap so that this conversation doesn't have to happen? Can we go back to when that was about to be a thing?]
I just want you to be yourself, why can't you understand that? So that's why I asked...if somebody asks you if we're friends...what do you want to say to that? Without asking me first, what would your answer to that be?
[Oh my god you two. Peko doesn't give it time to develop into something more serious, shifting further back on the bed to literally drag Itazurakko onto her lap to hold him back if necessary. Michiko can growl all she wants now; if the smug look on the weasel's face is any indication, all has gone exactly according to plan. Now he has two people petting him.
She almost flinches when he says that he wants her to be herself, though. There it was again, the feeling that she's disappointing him by not doing as he'd asked. More than once, even. It's not like when he tells her not to call him young master -- that's just a matter of propriety, when it comes down to it, and his title is important -- but it's different. Just don't ask her to explain why.]
I...
[Nanami is a friend. Hinata is a friend. Even Tsumiki is a friend, of a sort. Pekoyama would hesitate to call other members of her class friends until she's spoken with them herself, after her execution, but Kuzuryuu... is on a completely different level.
WHY CAN'T SHE JUST.... HITMAN....??????????? ?????????
Why is this so hard. Why.]
I... have attempted to explain that we are classmates. But apparently that is not sufficient.
[Yes, good, Peko, take your weasel and keep him over there. Meanwhile, Kuzuryuu will keep his cat over here and they can continue on with this trainwreck of a conversation.]
[Of course "classmate" and "friend" are not equal though, I mean technically Saionji is a classmate.]
Hold up, is this a conversation you're having right now? [She used the word "if" before, he kind of figured this was all hypothetical for...some reason. He should have known better though, a question like this would have to be prompted by SOMETHING...] Never mind, it doesn't matter, just... shit.
[Why is this so hard.]
It's not like we can fucking hide it anymore, not when so many people already know the truth. [And...you know. How much time they spend together. It's a little too late in the game to attempt what they did on Jabberwock Island.]
And I don't... [Really want to hide it? Or at least certain aspects of it. It's just very hard to be selective about what you do and don't tell people in this instance. Everything is so tightly interwoven together. Admitting to the fact that they have a history together will assuredly lead to questions about specifics. And the specifics are the parts he's not exactly crazy about sharing with the whole world just yet.]
[Ah, yes, she's supposed to be my hitman and my tool and even though I never wanted that, she thinks of herself like that and then some stuff happened and she died, I lost and eye, and now we're ???]
[But at the same time, "friend" doesn't...it doesn't adequately cover what they have. Because no matter how much Kuzuryuu may have wanted to be friends with her growing up, they never really were. And now she's ascended to a different plane in his mind altogether. Something higher than a friend that Kuzuryuu doesn't quite have a word for beyond "one of the two most important people in my life."]
Just...tell 'em whatever you want. My They aren't asking for my opinion, they're asking for yours. [There we go. This is a flawless escap-- oh no wait shit hold on.] But you're not allowed to say you're my tool, got it!? Not now, not ever! You're forbidden from ever saying that, y'hear me!?
She opens her mouth a little guiltily, about to answer in the affirmative that yes, this is a conversation she's having right now, she wouldn't have bothered him with something like this without warning if it weren't something she needed to know at this moment. But he says never mind, and she takes the offered escape. If he'd really wanted to know that badly, she's certain he'd have said so.
So she closes her mouth and just listens to him, brow furrowed and lips thinned into a line as she tries to make sense of it all. It keeps coming back to the same issue, where if she isn't his tool, she doesn't know what she is to him. "One of the two most important people in his life" isn't really an answer, when it comes down to it. If he won't let her be a tool, then she has to be a person, but what kind of person is she if not a tool?
This is too hard. And he just forbid her from using what escape she would have.]
I will not, [she promises first, an attempted reassurance. He'd made that quite clear before, and even as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't use that word.] But... may I still refer to you as the young master in front of others?
[That... that should make their relationship clear to anyone. Shouldn't it? That's an answer.]
[And this is the part Kuzuryuu's kind of missing. He's just not making the connection that he needs to supply her with something more concrete beyond "you're not a tool" and "be yourself".]
I wish you wouldn't, but... [Compromise. Gotta give a little here. If she's agreeing to not refer to herself as a tool, then he can let the young mater thing slide in front of others.] For now, if that makes you feel more comfortable, then go ahead.
[She definitely feels like she's being granted a concession here, and that's really not how this is supposed to work. The slump of her shoulders is barely perceptible, but it's there. She's disappointing him again, but she just doesn't know how to fix it.
The obvious answer is to just call him by his name. He's asked her to drop the 'young master' enough times, after all. But that just doesn't fit their relationship. Which is... what?
She still doesn't know.
She has her answer for Ishimaru; that should be the end of the conversation. But even still, she leaves the Pokégear in her pocket for now.]
How would you... [she starts. How would you answer that question, she wants to ask. But... if it were important, he would tell her, wouldn't he?]
...It should not be about my comfort, young master, [she says finally, keeping her eyes on Itazurakko as she scratches behind his ear; though it's obvious just from looking that she's not even focusing on the Sneasel at all.
All she can really say after that is,] ...Thank you.
[It's honestly a conversation better saved for another day. If it wasn't obvious, Kuzuryuu's not quite ready to talk deeply about this subject just yet. One day though...one day they'll get this sorted out.]
Like hell it's not. [YOU ARE A PERSON, PEKO, NOT A TOOL. YOUR COMFORT MATTERS.] Your comfort's just as important as mine is.
[...]
You should get back to whoever you're talking to though. They've been waiting this whole time we've been talking, haven't they?
[Her comfort is LESS IMPORTANT THAN HIS THOUGH. That is just fact. But even she knows that telling him that would likely just result in him yelling and being frustrated again, so she just closes her eyes and nods. Not really agreement, but acknowledgement.
Though it... doesn't exactly tell her how to answer Ishimaru's question, really.]
They have.
[She doesn't sound sorry about it, either, but she does look away a little guiltily as she pulls out her Pokégear. She can't exactly excuse herself, but it just feels... weird to text someone else without wanting Kuzuryuu to look at the conversation.
So she pulls it back up, but it takes her a while to finally. Resume the conversation. Actually she spends a good several minutes just staring at the screen and backspacing several times. One can't say an attempt wasn't made.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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May I ask a question, young master?
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[Nothing to see here, move along.]
Sure, what is it?
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But right, she'd been about to ask him a question. Shifting slightly on the bed itself, she rests her hands on her knees and looks toward him. Why is this so difficult. Why.]
How do you describe our present relationship?
[She needs to know so she can change her facebook status. STAT.]
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[What WON'T go unnoticed is that question she just asked. That... she sure did just ask that. No warning or anything just...okay, we are having this conversation now.]
I... [UHHHHHH...SHIT.] why do you ask?
[Yes.]
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Maybe it's just because she isn't sure if it's going to make him mad. Yes. That's definitely it.]
If someone were to ask if we were friends, how would you like me to respond?
[THERE. Straightforward enough, really.]
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Oh. [Yes, better. He's on the same page now, if nothing else. He leans back against his pillow, frowning slightly.] It's not like...it's much of a secret anymore. Our whole class knows already and you know how half of those fuckers are. They run their mouths like there's no tomorrow, so...
[...]
...What do you want to say?
[Kuzuryuu, you're not answering the question. What are you even...stop. Just stop.]
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So it would be acceptable to explain to people that I am your hitman?
[She brushes a loose strand of hair away from her face and nods once. If Kuzuryuu's not concerned about the other members of their class telling people... then it is much simpler for her to respond to strangers as such.
Then she pauses and looks to him again, tilting her head slightly as her lips edge into the hints of a confused frown. Why... is he asking her that. Why.]
Is... that not what you wish me to say? [He had been the one to say that they should act like regular classmates to start with. And then this is butting up against the whole you're not a tool thing that she's still (still!) grappling with.]
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Michiko! Itazurakko! [MY GOD THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THEY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT, CAN YOU TWO PLEASE JUST NOT. HE HAS TWO HANDS. HE CAN PET YOU BOTH. SO QUIT IT.]
[...Michiko's still going to glare at the stupid brat-weasel from Kuzuryuu's other side though. She's watching you, fuckstick. She's watching you.]
Goddamn. Anyway look, I... [Lord, how to explain this. Is it too late to have Pokémon break out in a fight in his lap so that this conversation doesn't have to happen? Can we go back to when that was about to be a thing?]
I just want you to be yourself, why can't you understand that? So that's why I asked...if somebody asks you if we're friends...what do you want to say to that? Without asking me first, what would your answer to that be?
[Fuyuhiko...friend??!? Peko..friend??!?????! What!?!?!??????!?]
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[Oh my god you two. Peko doesn't give it time to develop into something more serious, shifting further back on the bed to literally drag Itazurakko onto her lap to hold him back if necessary. Michiko can growl all she wants now; if the smug look on the weasel's face is any indication, all has gone exactly according to plan. Now he has two people petting him.
She almost flinches when he says that he wants her to be herself, though. There it was again, the feeling that she's disappointing him by not doing as he'd asked. More than once, even. It's not like when he tells her not to call him young master -- that's just a matter of propriety, when it comes down to it, and his title is important -- but it's different. Just don't ask her to explain why.]
I...
[Nanami is a friend. Hinata is a friend. Even Tsumiki is a friend, of a sort. Pekoyama would hesitate to call other members of her class friends until she's spoken with them herself, after her execution, but Kuzuryuu... is on a completely different level.
WHY CAN'T SHE JUST.... HITMAN....??????????? ?????????
Why is this so hard. Why.]
I... have attempted to explain that we are classmates. But apparently that is not sufficient.
[THOSE TWO THINGS ARE NOT EQUAL FOR SOME REASON.]
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[Of course "classmate" and "friend" are not equal though, I mean technically Saionji is a classmate.]
Hold up, is this a conversation you're having right now? [She used the word "if" before, he kind of figured this was all hypothetical for...some reason. He should have known better though, a question like this would have to be prompted by SOMETHING...] Never mind, it doesn't matter, just... shit.
[Why is this so hard.]
It's not like we can fucking hide it anymore, not when so many people already know the truth. [And...you know. How much time they spend together. It's a little too late in the game to attempt what they did on Jabberwock Island.]
And I don't... [Really want to hide it? Or at least certain aspects of it. It's just very hard to be selective about what you do and don't tell people in this instance. Everything is so tightly interwoven together. Admitting to the fact that they have a history together will assuredly lead to questions about specifics. And the specifics are the parts he's not exactly crazy about sharing with the whole world just yet.]
[Ah, yes, she's supposed to be my hitman and my tool and even though I never wanted that, she thinks of herself like that and then some stuff happened and she died, I lost and eye, and now we're ???]
[But at the same time, "friend" doesn't...it doesn't adequately cover what they have. Because no matter how much Kuzuryuu may have wanted to be friends with her growing up, they never really were. And now she's ascended to a different plane in his mind altogether. Something higher than a friend that Kuzuryuu doesn't quite have a word for beyond "one of the two most important people in my life."]
Just...tell 'em whatever you want. My They aren't asking for my opinion, they're asking for yours. [There we go. This is a flawless escap-- oh no wait shit hold on.] But you're not allowed to say you're my tool, got it!? Not now, not ever! You're forbidden from ever saying that, y'hear me!?
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She opens her mouth a little guiltily, about to answer in the affirmative that yes, this is a conversation she's having right now, she wouldn't have bothered him with something like this without warning if it weren't something she needed to know at this moment. But he says never mind, and she takes the offered escape. If he'd really wanted to know that badly, she's certain he'd have said so.
So she closes her mouth and just listens to him, brow furrowed and lips thinned into a line as she tries to make sense of it all. It keeps coming back to the same issue, where if she isn't his tool, she doesn't know what she is to him. "One of the two most important people in his life" isn't really an answer, when it comes down to it. If he won't let her be a tool, then she has to be a person, but what kind of person is she if not a tool?
This is too hard. And he just forbid her from using what escape she would have.]
I will not, [she promises first, an attempted reassurance. He'd made that quite clear before, and even as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't use that word.] But... may I still refer to you as the young master in front of others?
[That... that should make their relationship clear to anyone. Shouldn't it? That's an answer.]
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I wish you wouldn't, but... [Compromise. Gotta give a little here. If she's agreeing to not refer to herself as a tool, then he can let the young mater thing slide in front of others.] For now, if that makes you feel more comfortable, then go ahead.
[Change.]
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The obvious answer is to just call him by his name. He's asked her to drop the 'young master' enough times, after all. But that just doesn't fit their relationship. Which is... what?
She still doesn't know.
She has her answer for Ishimaru; that should be the end of the conversation. But even still, she leaves the Pokégear in her pocket for now.]
How would you... [she starts. How would you answer that question, she wants to ask. But... if it were important, he would tell her, wouldn't he?]
...It should not be about my comfort, young master, [she says finally, keeping her eyes on Itazurakko as she scratches behind his ear; though it's obvious just from looking that she's not even focusing on the Sneasel at all.
All she can really say after that is,] ...Thank you.
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Like hell it's not. [YOU ARE A PERSON, PEKO, NOT A TOOL. YOUR COMFORT MATTERS.] Your comfort's just as important as mine is.
[...]
You should get back to whoever you're talking to though. They've been waiting this whole time we've been talking, haven't they?
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Though it... doesn't exactly tell her how to answer Ishimaru's question, really.]
They have.
[She doesn't sound sorry about it, either, but she does look away a little guiltily as she pulls out her Pokégear. She can't exactly excuse herself, but it just feels... weird to text someone else without wanting Kuzuryuu to look at the conversation.
So she pulls it back up, but it takes her a while to finally. Resume the conversation. Actually she spends a good several minutes just staring at the screen and backspacing several times. One can't say an attempt wasn't made.]