[Oh my god you two. Peko doesn't give it time to develop into something more serious, shifting further back on the bed to literally drag Itazurakko onto her lap to hold him back if necessary. Michiko can growl all she wants now; if the smug look on the weasel's face is any indication, all has gone exactly according to plan. Now he has two people petting him.
She almost flinches when he says that he wants her to be herself, though. There it was again, the feeling that she's disappointing him by not doing as he'd asked. More than once, even. It's not like when he tells her not to call him young master -- that's just a matter of propriety, when it comes down to it, and his title is important -- but it's different. Just don't ask her to explain why.]
I...
[Nanami is a friend. Hinata is a friend. Even Tsumiki is a friend, of a sort. Pekoyama would hesitate to call other members of her class friends until she's spoken with them herself, after her execution, but Kuzuryuu... is on a completely different level.
WHY CAN'T SHE JUST.... HITMAN....??????????? ?????????
Why is this so hard. Why.]
I... have attempted to explain that we are classmates. But apparently that is not sufficient.
[Yes, good, Peko, take your weasel and keep him over there. Meanwhile, Kuzuryuu will keep his cat over here and they can continue on with this trainwreck of a conversation.]
[Of course "classmate" and "friend" are not equal though, I mean technically Saionji is a classmate.]
Hold up, is this a conversation you're having right now? [She used the word "if" before, he kind of figured this was all hypothetical for...some reason. He should have known better though, a question like this would have to be prompted by SOMETHING...] Never mind, it doesn't matter, just... shit.
[Why is this so hard.]
It's not like we can fucking hide it anymore, not when so many people already know the truth. [And...you know. How much time they spend together. It's a little too late in the game to attempt what they did on Jabberwock Island.]
And I don't... [Really want to hide it? Or at least certain aspects of it. It's just very hard to be selective about what you do and don't tell people in this instance. Everything is so tightly interwoven together. Admitting to the fact that they have a history together will assuredly lead to questions about specifics. And the specifics are the parts he's not exactly crazy about sharing with the whole world just yet.]
[Ah, yes, she's supposed to be my hitman and my tool and even though I never wanted that, she thinks of herself like that and then some stuff happened and she died, I lost and eye, and now we're ???]
[But at the same time, "friend" doesn't...it doesn't adequately cover what they have. Because no matter how much Kuzuryuu may have wanted to be friends with her growing up, they never really were. And now she's ascended to a different plane in his mind altogether. Something higher than a friend that Kuzuryuu doesn't quite have a word for beyond "one of the two most important people in my life."]
Just...tell 'em whatever you want. My They aren't asking for my opinion, they're asking for yours. [There we go. This is a flawless escap-- oh no wait shit hold on.] But you're not allowed to say you're my tool, got it!? Not now, not ever! You're forbidden from ever saying that, y'hear me!?
She opens her mouth a little guiltily, about to answer in the affirmative that yes, this is a conversation she's having right now, she wouldn't have bothered him with something like this without warning if it weren't something she needed to know at this moment. But he says never mind, and she takes the offered escape. If he'd really wanted to know that badly, she's certain he'd have said so.
So she closes her mouth and just listens to him, brow furrowed and lips thinned into a line as she tries to make sense of it all. It keeps coming back to the same issue, where if she isn't his tool, she doesn't know what she is to him. "One of the two most important people in his life" isn't really an answer, when it comes down to it. If he won't let her be a tool, then she has to be a person, but what kind of person is she if not a tool?
This is too hard. And he just forbid her from using what escape she would have.]
I will not, [she promises first, an attempted reassurance. He'd made that quite clear before, and even as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't use that word.] But... may I still refer to you as the young master in front of others?
[That... that should make their relationship clear to anyone. Shouldn't it? That's an answer.]
[And this is the part Kuzuryuu's kind of missing. He's just not making the connection that he needs to supply her with something more concrete beyond "you're not a tool" and "be yourself".]
I wish you wouldn't, but... [Compromise. Gotta give a little here. If she's agreeing to not refer to herself as a tool, then he can let the young mater thing slide in front of others.] For now, if that makes you feel more comfortable, then go ahead.
[She definitely feels like she's being granted a concession here, and that's really not how this is supposed to work. The slump of her shoulders is barely perceptible, but it's there. She's disappointing him again, but she just doesn't know how to fix it.
The obvious answer is to just call him by his name. He's asked her to drop the 'young master' enough times, after all. But that just doesn't fit their relationship. Which is... what?
She still doesn't know.
She has her answer for Ishimaru; that should be the end of the conversation. But even still, she leaves the Pokégear in her pocket for now.]
How would you... [she starts. How would you answer that question, she wants to ask. But... if it were important, he would tell her, wouldn't he?]
...It should not be about my comfort, young master, [she says finally, keeping her eyes on Itazurakko as she scratches behind his ear; though it's obvious just from looking that she's not even focusing on the Sneasel at all.
All she can really say after that is,] ...Thank you.
[It's honestly a conversation better saved for another day. If it wasn't obvious, Kuzuryuu's not quite ready to talk deeply about this subject just yet. One day though...one day they'll get this sorted out.]
Like hell it's not. [YOU ARE A PERSON, PEKO, NOT A TOOL. YOUR COMFORT MATTERS.] Your comfort's just as important as mine is.
[...]
You should get back to whoever you're talking to though. They've been waiting this whole time we've been talking, haven't they?
[Her comfort is LESS IMPORTANT THAN HIS THOUGH. That is just fact. But even she knows that telling him that would likely just result in him yelling and being frustrated again, so she just closes her eyes and nods. Not really agreement, but acknowledgement.
Though it... doesn't exactly tell her how to answer Ishimaru's question, really.]
They have.
[She doesn't sound sorry about it, either, but she does look away a little guiltily as she pulls out her Pokégear. She can't exactly excuse herself, but it just feels... weird to text someone else without wanting Kuzuryuu to look at the conversation.
So she pulls it back up, but it takes her a while to finally. Resume the conversation. Actually she spends a good several minutes just staring at the screen and backspacing several times. One can't say an attempt wasn't made.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
action; 4/23
[Oh my god you two. Peko doesn't give it time to develop into something more serious, shifting further back on the bed to literally drag Itazurakko onto her lap to hold him back if necessary. Michiko can growl all she wants now; if the smug look on the weasel's face is any indication, all has gone exactly according to plan. Now he has two people petting him.
She almost flinches when he says that he wants her to be herself, though. There it was again, the feeling that she's disappointing him by not doing as he'd asked. More than once, even. It's not like when he tells her not to call him young master -- that's just a matter of propriety, when it comes down to it, and his title is important -- but it's different. Just don't ask her to explain why.]
I...
[Nanami is a friend. Hinata is a friend. Even Tsumiki is a friend, of a sort. Pekoyama would hesitate to call other members of her class friends until she's spoken with them herself, after her execution, but Kuzuryuu... is on a completely different level.
WHY CAN'T SHE JUST.... HITMAN....??????????? ?????????
Why is this so hard. Why.]
I... have attempted to explain that we are classmates. But apparently that is not sufficient.
[THOSE TWO THINGS ARE NOT EQUAL FOR SOME REASON.]
action; 4/23
[Of course "classmate" and "friend" are not equal though, I mean technically Saionji is a classmate.]
Hold up, is this a conversation you're having right now? [She used the word "if" before, he kind of figured this was all hypothetical for...some reason. He should have known better though, a question like this would have to be prompted by SOMETHING...] Never mind, it doesn't matter, just... shit.
[Why is this so hard.]
It's not like we can fucking hide it anymore, not when so many people already know the truth. [And...you know. How much time they spend together. It's a little too late in the game to attempt what they did on Jabberwock Island.]
And I don't... [Really want to hide it? Or at least certain aspects of it. It's just very hard to be selective about what you do and don't tell people in this instance. Everything is so tightly interwoven together. Admitting to the fact that they have a history together will assuredly lead to questions about specifics. And the specifics are the parts he's not exactly crazy about sharing with the whole world just yet.]
[Ah, yes, she's supposed to be my hitman and my tool and even though I never wanted that, she thinks of herself like that and then some stuff happened and she died, I lost and eye, and now we're ???]
[But at the same time, "friend" doesn't...it doesn't adequately cover what they have. Because no matter how much Kuzuryuu may have wanted to be friends with her growing up, they never really were. And now she's ascended to a different plane in his mind altogether. Something higher than a friend that Kuzuryuu doesn't quite have a word for beyond "one of the two most important people in my life."]
Just...tell 'em whatever you want. My They aren't asking for my opinion, they're asking for yours. [There we go. This is a flawless escap-- oh no wait shit hold on.] But you're not allowed to say you're my tool, got it!? Not now, not ever! You're forbidden from ever saying that, y'hear me!?
action; 4/23
She opens her mouth a little guiltily, about to answer in the affirmative that yes, this is a conversation she's having right now, she wouldn't have bothered him with something like this without warning if it weren't something she needed to know at this moment. But he says never mind, and she takes the offered escape. If he'd really wanted to know that badly, she's certain he'd have said so.
So she closes her mouth and just listens to him, brow furrowed and lips thinned into a line as she tries to make sense of it all. It keeps coming back to the same issue, where if she isn't his tool, she doesn't know what she is to him. "One of the two most important people in his life" isn't really an answer, when it comes down to it. If he won't let her be a tool, then she has to be a person, but what kind of person is she if not a tool?
This is too hard. And he just forbid her from using what escape she would have.]
I will not, [she promises first, an attempted reassurance. He'd made that quite clear before, and even as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't use that word.] But... may I still refer to you as the young master in front of others?
[That... that should make their relationship clear to anyone. Shouldn't it? That's an answer.]
action; 4/23
I wish you wouldn't, but... [Compromise. Gotta give a little here. If she's agreeing to not refer to herself as a tool, then he can let the young mater thing slide in front of others.] For now, if that makes you feel more comfortable, then go ahead.
[Change.]
action; 4/23
The obvious answer is to just call him by his name. He's asked her to drop the 'young master' enough times, after all. But that just doesn't fit their relationship. Which is... what?
She still doesn't know.
She has her answer for Ishimaru; that should be the end of the conversation. But even still, she leaves the Pokégear in her pocket for now.]
How would you... [she starts. How would you answer that question, she wants to ask. But... if it were important, he would tell her, wouldn't he?]
...It should not be about my comfort, young master, [she says finally, keeping her eyes on Itazurakko as she scratches behind his ear; though it's obvious just from looking that she's not even focusing on the Sneasel at all.
All she can really say after that is,] ...Thank you.
action; 4/23
Like hell it's not. [YOU ARE A PERSON, PEKO, NOT A TOOL. YOUR COMFORT MATTERS.] Your comfort's just as important as mine is.
[...]
You should get back to whoever you're talking to though. They've been waiting this whole time we've been talking, haven't they?
action; 4/23
Though it... doesn't exactly tell her how to answer Ishimaru's question, really.]
They have.
[She doesn't sound sorry about it, either, but she does look away a little guiltily as she pulls out her Pokégear. She can't exactly excuse herself, but it just feels... weird to text someone else without wanting Kuzuryuu to look at the conversation.
So she pulls it back up, but it takes her a while to finally. Resume the conversation. Actually she spends a good several minutes just staring at the screen and backspacing several times. One can't say an attempt wasn't made.]