impheired | Private Channel

Nggk--!!

[RIGHT THROUGH THE HEART. FRIENDS????]

[What is with all these people just throwing that word around so casually??]

W-well, it's not like people can't come and see you, right? I mean...I think most people would understand how hard it'll be on you till your legs finish...whatever it is they're doing. [WHY ARE YOUR CHANGES SO WEIRD, MABEL.] Personally, I'd rather you not break your legs and fuck 'em up, so...

[FRIENDS.]

Well...I mean I guess.

[But at the same time there's so much to see and do in Bavan? She loves her family and loves the peninsula version of the Shack, but they have so many cool things in the city. It's a city, not a dinky (but charming) little town like Gravity Falls!]

I wish they'd just finish already. They're cool with how weird they are, but they're getting awfully annoying!

[NOOOOOOO.]

Careful not to jinx yourself, you keep bitching like that and you could end up waiting a while. But, hopefully they'll fix themselves before this fog ends.

[Though why she considers wonky feet like that "cool" is beyond him.]

Anyway, if you haven't got any other plans, how about I take you back to your house?

[ACCEPT YOUR FATE.]

I always have great luck. I'm sure it'll all work out! [Always. The universe loves her basically? But then how could it not, she is Mabel Pines.]

Okay! We can do that. I can introduce you to everyone then! If they're home...Grunkle Stan is probably home.

That's...not the one I talked to on the network, right?

[Who the hell names their kids Stanford and Stanley, like for real here.]

[He bends down a little, facing away from Mabel and clearly wanting her to hop up on his back.]

C'mon, I'll carry you back.

[Stay off those dumb feet! You've already had one accident today.]

Right! That one's Grunkle Ford.

[She doesn't say anything about the offer, moving to carefully hop up like she's being asked. She is never one to turn down a piggy back ride!]

Grunkle Ford is all smart and nerdy and science-y. He's the one who wants to learn more about all the monsters and keep a journal about them. Grunkle Stan is the one that wants to sell you stuff, or buy your claws and fur and stuff. And also post lots of jokes.

[He was the one posting all those tasteless one-liners a while back that Mabel definitely participated in...]

[Thank god Mabel is tiny and also that he actually IS a little stronger in his wereform. He can actually make it all the way to the shack this way.]

I see. You're gonna have to tell me where I'm going, by the way. I have no idea where this shack of yours is.

[But he's going to head towards the park entrance all the same, because that seems like the most logical place to start.

Oh, I can do that real easy!

[And she'll give him a couple directions to follow once he reaches the park entrance. Very easy "turn this way, turn that way."]

But yeah. You'll get used to 'em. If Grunkle Stan posted more to the network you'd probably be able to tell them apart real easy. He's a lot more like me, I guess, or I'm like him. But compared to Grunkle Ford it's like...night and day! Grunkle Ford uses all this proper speak and big words and likes to make himself sound really smart, which I guess he is since he has something like 12 college degrees I think? He definitely sounds like he does.

And Grunkle Stan is a lot more casual and kind of rough speaking. More like an old man than Grunkle Ford. He's really funny though, when he's not telling his uncle jokes, and really nice, and I think that comes through a lot when he's not just trying to talk you into buying something.

[Yup!]

Don't let him talk you into buying something. Don't tell him I told you this, but like...I don't know where he gets all his stuff from and it might not be entirely legal I don't think? And I have no idea how the laws here work...I know he can probably get around them just fine but like what happens if you're caught with stolen antlers that he sold you? As my friend I have to look out for your well being when my Grunkles are involved!

[Ty, Mabel, he will surely find it with your straightforward guidance!]

Heh, your Grunkle Stan sounds more like my kinda guy. Though you won't have to look out for me around him, I assure you. I'm not so easily conned. But even if I was, I wouldn't be the Super High School Level Yakuza if I got arrested for something as lame as getting caught with stolen goods.

[Sur...prise? Your new friend here is actually a criminal. Good going, Mabel, you sure can pick them.]

Super High School Level Yakuza? What's that mean?

[She has a feeling it's something criminal, if that can means he's not easily conned and also he wouldn't get arrested for something "as lame as" that, but she's not 100% sure. First of all what the heck is a Super High School Level? Does he go to like...some kind of high school for super heroes or something? Is that what it means?

What's a Yakuza too?]

Where I'm from, there's a high school called Hope's Peak. The only way in is to be scouted by the school itself. And they only scout you if you're in high school and you're the very best at whatever it is you do, whatever your talent is. Everyone who's accepted gets a title according to their talent, Super High School Level Yakuza, Super High School Level Gymnast, Princess, Photographer, you get the idea. Those who graduate go on to become the movers and shakers in the world, you're basically set for life.

[Or, you know, IDEALLY, you would. But Despair World was a thing. So...not so much anymore.]

That's so cool!!! I want a school like that! I'd totally get scouted!!

[She's HYPE about this idea. She would definitely get a title, because she's the very best at so many things?]

What's your title mean? What's "Yakuza"? Also there's a Super High School Level Princess? She's the very best princess? Did you ever meet her?

Heh, yeah, it's pretty cool I guess.

[Super High School Level Arts & Crafts, Mabel Pines.]

A yakuza's... [He gives a defeated sort of sigh. As much as Fuyuhiko hates calling it "the Japanese Mafia" he's come to find that that's probably the easiest way of explaining it to foreigners. Fuck you guys for not knowing what it is though, for real.] do you know what the mafia is? We're kinda like the Japanese Mafia. Similar concept, at least. I'm the heir to the Kuzuryuu clan, the largest syndicate in Japan. When my old man steps down or kicks it, I'll take over his position as boss.

[laughtrack.wmv]

All three of those titles I listed belong to people in my class, but one of 'em's not here right now. Sonia is though, she's princess of a country called Novoselic and an exchange student. She just got here with this latest group.

You're a mobster?! The heir to the largest family of Japanese mobsters even?! [She doesn't sound appalled or put off or anything. She sounds amazed.] Whoaaa...that's so cool! I've never met anyone from something like that before! So if it's only kinda like a mafia, what's the difference then? I mean it makes a lot more sense now, since you're super fashionable and those guys are always wearing fancy suits and hats and stuff.

[Oh, here are some more straightforward directions!]

And wow...a real live princess! Sonia? That's such a pretty name! Perfect for a princess! I've never heard of Novoselic before...is that in Europe? Can I meet her sometime? Please, please, please, please, please? I'll be really good and make the best impression, I promise! Very respectful! I know exactly how to talk to a princess! All the proper etiquette!

I'd prefer it if you didn't use the word mobster, but yeah. Basically. As for the difference... [He trails off.] Heh, well obviously the yakuza's better than the Italian mafia. What else?

[No, okay there's more to it and he could get into it but Mabel is a sweet girl and is better off not knowing. Also, KATAR IS AT WORK AND DOESN'T WANT TO GOOGLE TO MAKE SURE SHE'S GETTING SHIT RIGHT.]

It's somewhere in Europe, yeah. But sure, you can come around some time and I'll introduce you. Though you won't have to worry about etiquette too much. She's very... laid back. Probably one of the nicest people you'll ever meet, even if she's a bit...eccentric.

[PUT LIGHTLY...]

Okay, noooo problem! Yakuza it is! Yakuza sounds cooler anyway, so obviously they're better. [That's definitely not what she means, but you know who probably knows about the yakuza that she can ask later? Stan. If not, she'll just bug Fuyuhiko again! She wants to knoooowwwww.]

You and Grunkle Stan will definitely get along then. I don't thiiiinkkk he's mentioned getting in trouble with yakuza yet, so he probably won't freak out or anything. [What exactly does this man get up to?]

I'm so excited!! I can't wait to meet her! [And then, after a moment, there's a happy squeal.] I get to meet a princess!!

[Making a little girl's dreams come true here, man.]

[Hey, Ford apparently knows what it is too. She's got options.]

[What does that man get up to indeed, though. Fuyuhiko's vaguely curious.]

Heh, you sure do. You're real excited about that, huh?

[Well...one and a half if Meenah counts? Do future empresses who gave up the throne count?]

[She should probably go to Ford then. He's more likely to tell her.]

Well of course! I'm just a twelve year old girl who lives in California...like even when I was at Pacifica's party, I didn't really get to make friends or talk with a whole lot of the fancy people there. The closest I got was this Duke guy which is great and all, he was totally handsome, but that's nothing like meeting a princess.

[Good question. Probably!]

I see... Well, y'know, Sonia's not the only princess here. I know at least one more. Met her here though, not back home. Wouldn't surprise me if there are others too.

Really?!

[Fuyuhiko you're seriously making her day right here. Just the fact that there are princesses here is the best thing ever basically. And you know two of them?]

That's so cool!! And you know them both? Wow...you're so cool, Kuzuryuu.

Heh, well they're both people y'know? It's not that big a deal. Phoebe's got lotsa friends, from the sounds of things. Though maybe it just helps that I'm not their subjects or something.

[He's not THAT cool, Mabel, calm thyself.]

Still cool. Aaaaaaa I can't wait to meet them!! [Sorry for that excited squeeze of a hug there.]

I wish Candy and Grenda were here too. They'd love to meet everyone too.

Oi, watch it. Don't choke me out. [You gotta be more mindful of the gunshow, Mabel.] These are...friends of yours from back home, I'm guessing?

Ooops, sorry! Hehehe, don't know my own strength. And yeah! I met them in Gravity Falls, they're a couple of really great gals. The best gals around, really!

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 * NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded>** but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.