I'm not dwelling! I've come to terms with my screw ups. I'm not proud of 'em, but they happened and I can't change that. All I can do is try to make up for them and change myself so I don't fuck up the same way twice.

[Which...he is trying very hard to do and he likes to think he's doing an okay job at.]

Maybe you've got a point though, maybe what matters more is how I act after the fact. But it's hard to think of myself as good friend material when I've spent so much of my life shutting everyone out. Fuck, I mean...Hinata was my first... [Why is it still so hard to admit this, months later. And why couldn't he have picked a better, less-awkward place to pause in that sentence?] my first friend.

If there's anybody that deserves that title, it's probably him. Or you. But not me, I'm still a beginner when it comes to this shit.