impheired | Second Hit | Audio + Action for Route 35

Audio:
[If you thought Kuzuryuu would be happy about the prospect of a fancy red carpet event, then you are sorely mistaken. Though, at the moment, this might have more to do with the uh...method of invitation Clair decided to employ than the event itself. Three guesses who got beaned right in the head with a few of those ping pong balls. First two guesses don't count.]

[It was Kuzuryuu.]

Why the everloving fuck would you decide to invite people to something by dropping goddamn plastic balls on them!? That's not fucking normal, who the hell does something like this!? This better not be something that happens regularly here, I swear...

[He trails off, falling into a sort of contemplative silence for a few moments.]

What the hell is a prom, anyway? Some kind of party or something? [Hello, I am very Japanese and we do not have proms. Also I went to murderschool. There are no dances at murder school, only murders.] VIPs I get but wh-- son of a bitch!! [The sounds of a jostled struggle can be heard, along with a range of very happy Ariados noises.]

Goddammit, Meiwaku!! You can't fucking-- [What is even going on over there...] Get off you dumbass!! I swear to fu-- [Thankfully, the transmission cuts out fairly quickly into the unseen scuffle. He'll uh...he'll get back to you if anybody actually wants to answer that question about prom.]

Action:
[For anybody who happens to be out and about, they might run into Kuzuryuu mid-spider scuffle just outside of Goldenrod on Route 35. He's been out here training for most of the day (as per usual) and has two new evolutions to show for it: Bisharp and Ariados. The former appears as calm as she ever does, cradling Kuzuryuu's Pokégear in her hands and watching the scene before her with something that might be amusement. As for the latter...apparently she either hasn't noticed or doesn't care that evolving means she's quite a bit bigger than she used to be. So she's very determinedly trying to climb all over her master just like in the (not so) good ol' days. It's not really working but that isn't stopping her. Nothing is stopping her.]

[She WILL reclaim her fuzzy throne, rules of physics and everything that is logical be damned!!]

[Needless to say, Kuzuryuu is not amused and there's quite a bit of yelling going on and even more swearing.]

You're too big for that now, dipshit!! Fucking-- QUIT!! I didn't even-- DAMMIT! How about I fucking sit on you for a change, huh!? Then what, fucker!?

[He wasn't kidding about that because after a few more moment's wrestling, he definitely plants himself squarely on her back. Though...since he hardly weighs more than she does, the impact is probably not as impressive as he was hoping for. It surprised her enough to pin her to the ground, sure, but she barely seems to mind if the even happier noises and excited squirming are anything to go by.]

[Approac-- more like turn around and walk away and pretend you didn't see this. Why would you...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's a fancy party! Or so I hear. You should be excited, fancy parties are hella rad.

[ SAYS THE GIRL WHO'S NEVER BEEN TO A BIG FANCY PARTY but details ]

[DOES THIS FACE LOOK EXCITED TO YOU, ROXY?]

Well I'm not. The fact that the hostess couldn't even hand out invitations like a normal fucking person only makes me even less so.

[ NO IT DOES NOT AND SHE FINDS THAT UNFORTUNATE where is your joy, Kuzuryuu? ]

She prob couldn't go handing 'em out in person if she wanted to invite like everyone across the land, y'know? Thooooough, yeah, could've let up on the "pelting people with pokéballs", that is legit.

But! Party, man! If there's a good reason to get hit with a plastic ball, that is it, my friend!

[HE KNOWS NOT THE MEANING OF THIS "JOY". WHAT IS IT? CAN YOU EAT IT? IF SO, IS IT SWEET?]

Tch...I can think of better reasons. As much as it pisses me off, now that I know what the whole point of this was...I kinda wish the stupid fucking thing had knocked me out for a couple of weeks.

[God you are such a downer, why...]

[ IT IS VERY SWEET LIKE BUBBLEGUM AND COTTON CANDY ]

Woooow, dude, that's no attitude to have! You need some spunk in your step, some jive in your groove. Think on the bright side! Like, hey, party. With your friends and lots of new people to meet!

Fuck you, my step is fine just the way it is! [And he doesn't groove. I mean just look at him.]

[Roxy you can't win with this one.]

Ooooh, someone's grumpy about his step.

[ Roxy will fight this losing battle, SHE WILL FIGHT THE KITTENS OUT OF IT ]

Second Hit | Audio + Action for Route 35

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