Private Channel

[impheired]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 *** NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded> but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.

Comments

i just laugh whenever you use it...

[monarchical]

We do not! And even if we did, I do not know that it would have been similar. From my understanding the holidays we do share are celebrated rather differently. For example, Christmas is a happy time in many other countries, yes?

[ IT

IT APPARENTLY IS A DAY TO BE FEARED IN NOVOSELIC, because fucking Novoselic ]

ugh look i can't control the fanartists and i need blushing icons

[impheired]

It's...not in Novoselic? I don't know too much about Christmas since it's not as big a deal in Japan as it is in the west but...I've never heard of it not being a happy occasion, no.

[Well, you know, there was really only so long he could avoid learning about just how ??? worthy Novoselic is. This whole time he's been under the false impression that all of Sonia's weirdness is just a personal quirk.]

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko feels like he's stuck in the middle of a particularly cheesy and terrible soap romantic soap opera or something. How is this actually happening to him, yakuza Fuyuhiko...]

Mmm. [He nods.] And I'm guessing since she was fine when she found me later, you managed to straighten that out, yeah?

[Go on, tell Dr. Kuzuryuu everything since apparently he's a therapist or something now.]

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko's eye twitches at the word "milkbone". He's sure it's just a name and probably has nothing to do with actual milk but UGH FUCK THAT WORD.]

I dunno what the fuck a "Milkbone" is but it sounds fucking awful. Though why do you know what dog treats taste like...

[We'll get back to the chocolate thing in a second but first we have to address that little bit of "what the hell, Mabel???"]

<NineHeaded>

[impheired]

it was a joke, don't worry. i didn't actually think you would.

[Though a joke rooted in reality because SOME PEOPLE apparently thought it was an a+ idea Mahiru Koizumi.]

[braidtrain]

It's a brand of dog biscuits! And I make it a goal to taste test every dog treat that enters the house! You don't want to give your dog something that tastes gross, y'know? They're part of your family, they should get things that taste good too!

[Obviously. Doesn't everyone do that?]

...and some of them actually taste pretty good. Did you know Milkbone biscuits are surprisingly healthy? They're like, definitely human grade food, and they're pretty great for snacking on if you have something to drink with them. They're really dry, but tasty.

[impheired]

[NO?????? NO EVERYBODY DOES NOT DO THAT, YOU STRANGE CHILD.]

Okay, I guess I get where you're coming from with that, and it's uh...considerate? But...you know a dog's sense of taste isn't the same as a human's, right?

[Also that's just...]

[Why.]

[Just why.]

[braidtrain]

I don't know, they like all the delicious stuff that I like. I think we had pretty similar tastes!

[Because that's clearly what that means. Dogs like pizza, bacon, hamburgers, candy like...come on.]

[impheired]

Trust me, it's different.

[Though he's speaking less out of experience as a part-dog and more out of "living with the Super High School Level Animal Breeder for half a year" experience.]

But going back to the chocolate thing...I'm actually not sure. This is the first time the issue's come up, so I'm gonna wait till the fog's over to test it. I mean...I'm not actually a dog so I'd think I'm fine, but... [He drags a paw down the side of his face, probably getting glitter all over his cheek.] my tastes aren't the same as they used to be before the whole werewolf thing, so who the fuck knows.

[braidtrain]

[There's a little stifling of laughter, sort of just a snort of it but you can tell it's there, at the glitter getting all over his cheek.]

Okay, I trust you. And yeah it's...pfftt...it's probably better to wait. Don't want to get sick eating all that yummy chocolate. That'd be the worst!

Pfft---

[Nope, can't help herself, she's giggling.]

<DiggingThatTrack>

[tasteslikesurvival]

oh, hah. that makes more sense. just don't get me fish or grass for white day and we'll be good.]

[She might be laughing.]

[impheired]

[Look, he can't help that his cheeks are mostly furry now. Glitter and fur really don't mix well at all! Now he is a sparkly shiba.]

What're you laughing at, huh?

[braidtrain]

Y-you've got glitter on your cheek and in your f...fffhahahaha!!

[Nope, those giggles are laughs now, because that just looks so silly! All over in his fur like that...she knows it's her fault, but she just can't help it.]

[hamham]

[Let's be real their life was already some kind of soap. A princess and a delusional peasant?]

It's...more like I hadn't argued against her correction of how she feels. "Don't you dare imply it is anything other than my own will. On this matter, I cannot allow it to be said otherwise." I couldn't even hope to refute that, so I didn't, and she seemed satisfied with that...

[Those words stuck with him particularly hard, which might be noticeable in the way he says them.]

[impheired]

[WHY DID HE GET DRAGGED INTO IT THOUGH? Ugh. He actually groans aloud at Sonia's parroted words.]

You didn't... Holy shit, I oughta smack you for a stunt like that, Tanaka. [He can guess what Gundam must have said to elicit that kind of response.] Look, I know she's crazy about your whole dark lord thing, but that would have been the moment to filter it a little. You don't tell a girl her feelings aren't genuine when she's confessing to you, dumbass!! I don't even want to know exactly what it was you said, because I'm pretty sure I actually will hit you if I hear it.

[He's guessing it was something about possession. Or mind spells. Something ridiculous like that.]

So she straightened it out, then invited you to the movies and...was that it?

[hamham]

[Yeah, he kind of figured that after she told him off!!! But he just winces, nodding rather than saying anything. Yup, that was it...]

[impheired]

What? [He takes a look at his paw and, sure enough, there's way more glitter there than he was expecting.] Augh, dammit!

[He shakes his hand off, doing his best to rid it of all the sparkly flakes before blindly wiping at his cheek. It's...not working as well as he's hoping. Now his cheek fur is all fluffed out and only some of the glitter is actually gone.]

What'd you use this much for, anyway? Jeez, there's enough here for a whole 'nother card.

[braidtrain]

[And there's just another snort of laughter at the fluff, because it looks even more ridiculous. At least she's wiping her hands off on her sweater though and reaching up to try and help him. Huzzah for arms twice the length of your entire body. No need to bend down to receive assistance!]

H-here, here, let me help. You just fluffed up your fur instead of getting anything out of it. And I used a lot because cards need a lot!

[impheired]

[Too little, too late, Nerdlord!!!]

[Fuyuhiko sighs, rubbing at his temple.]

You're a fucking mess, you know that? But alright, I think I have a pretty clear picture of what happened now. You're really lucky Sonia's a foreigner, otherwise this probably wouldn't have ended as well for you as it did.

[He's like...99% sure that if this conversation had been with your average Japanese high school girl, it absolutely would have ended in either tears, yelling, or both.]

Not sayin' you didn't screw up though, 'cause you definitely did but...at least it seems like you learned something from it so I'm not gonna keep berating you for being a dumbass.

So all that said...now what?

[impheired]

[He stops trying to get the glitter off his face and just lets Mabel do her thing instead. Though he does look a little sulky still.]

I'd hate to see how much of this stuff you used total, if this is the right amount for one card...

[hamham]

[Yeah...yeah, he knows. He tugs his scarf up over his nose, looking anywhere but at his friend.]

I...don't know...

[He doesn't know "now what". You're asking the wrong guy, he doesn't even know how to properly accept a girl's feelings?? The more he talks and thinks about it, the more he feels like...this whole thing was just a big mistake.]

I...maybe I shouldn't have accepted them.

[braidtrain]

Weeelllll I did make three others.

[A lot. She used a lot. Her and Dipper's room is probably nothing but glitter at this point. They don't sleep in beds, they just sleep in piles of glitter and craft supplies.]

Almost got it...

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko raises an eyebrow.]

Maybe. But of course...that would depend on one thing. [A beat.] How do you feel about her?

[That's what he meant by "now what". He hadn't actually meant it quite as literally as Gundam took it. Though nobody can blame him for taking that way because, really, Fuyuhiko, use your words properly.]

What was it that made you accept them?

[We've covered all the facts. Now it's time for the feels. Tell him, friend. Tell him all about these feels you find yourself afflicted with now.]

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko's eye widens a little in surprise.]

...only four, really?

[He pretty much expected her to all but skip through the streets, flinging sweets at everybody she came across. Especially If she made him one?? He did not realize he was quite so special.]

[braidtrain]

I wanted to make more, but I didn't have the supplies. Or the money to get more supplies...

[And this is actually pretty disappointing, judging by the way she's pouting.]

If I could make one for everyone I would have...I'm going to have to stockpile for next year.