Private Channel

[impheired]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 *** NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded> but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.

Comments

[hamham]

It would be painful as well.

[Gundam actually has his lunch picked out, he's just deciding on what to drink at this point.]

While the horns themselves feel no pain, cracking one the first time did end up giving me a splitting headache afterward. I'm in little rush to see how breaking one of these would affect me.

[Plus, even though they are impractical, he likes them...]

[impheired]

Really? Huh. I didn't realize. I figured they didn't have any nerves so it wouldn't hurt.

[How the fuck has this become a casual small talk topic for them? What the fuck.]

Hmm...you figured out what you're getting, by the way?

[He's almost reached a decision! Just give him another minute...]

[hamham]

I'm not sure if it was the horn itself that hurt or if perhaps that was punishment for breaking one. Attempting to rip out those wings was not only a painful process, but once they had returned my back ached for days afterward. Despite the fact that my natural wings only hurt for a few hours once fully healed.

[Finally he sets his own menu down.]

I believe so. Their salads sound quite appetizing, so one of those, as well as a side of fries.

[Unsalted, of course.]

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko gives the demon a slightly apologetic look. He knows it's not entirely his fault, since Gundam DID want him to rip those out but...he feels kinda bad that it ended up being more of a pain in the ass than he realized. Literally.]

Mmm...alright. If you wanna go ahead and call the waitress back over so you can order, I can decide by the time you're done ordering.

[hamham]

[He nods and does just that, ordering politely once she arrives. Stressing a little extra that nothing is salted...please........he also adds a soda to the order.

You're up birthday boy.]

[impheired]

[And for birthday boy...a steak burger and fries. Plain and simple, yet a little bit more exotic than the standard burger joint fare. Definitely no cheese though. Absolutely none. And an ice tea to go with it.]

[hamham]

Ah, a steak burger hm? No bacon?

[It's said teasingly once the waitress took the menus and went to go put their orders in.]

[impheired]

You make it sound like that the only kind of burger I ever get. I like a little variety, you know.

[Well that and he's in his human form. There's a reason he didn't ask for his burger basically bleeding. His tastes tend to be slightly less meat-centric during the day. Though still meatier than they were before he turned into a wereshiba.]

[hamham]

Of course. It just seems as though sometimes you enjoy those more than others is all.

[The waitress returns pretty quick with their drinks and he takes a drink of his before continuing.]

It's good to see a little variety though.

[You deserve it! It's your birthday.]

[impheired]

Tch...

[SO SUE HIM, HE LIKES BACON BURGERS NOW. Oh, hey. Drinks. He's spared having to come up with a retort thanks to those. And then Gundam actualy gives him a chance to turn the tables with his next comment...]

Heh, more than I can say for you, Mister Super Scary Demon Who Always Orders A Fucking Salad. [He takes a sip of his tea.] You ever gonna branch out and try something different whenever we come to places like this? You know they make meatless burgers, right?

[hamham]

[He just sort of makes a face at the suggestion of a meatless burger. Clearly not very pleased with this idea.]

Of course I'm aware of such a fact. They make meatless everything. However, what is the point of consuming soy and tofu and vegetables if they're simply prepared the same way as meat? They are all different entities entirely, and should be treated as such. Such ingredients simply pressed and formed into strips or steaks or patties never sounded appetizing.

[So hey, guess who was never able to go to places that had burgers made out of actual vegetables, rather than the formed patties he's talking about? This guy right here.]

[impheired]

......

[Okay, while Gundam does have a point, Fuyuhiko is also pretty sure that he's got that partially wrong...]

Kyoudai...you don't actually read the menu when we go out, do you? There's such a thing as a veggie burger that's basically a grilled vegetable on a bun. I'm pretty sure none of the vegetarian options at this place were anything like what you just described...

[He didn't really read them because he has to eat meat but...this doesn't really strike him as the sort of burger joint that uses premade patties.]

[hamham]

[The silence on his end probably confirms that no, he doesn't, and he had no idea that such things existed. And he's not sure what to say because it's his own fault for not reading anything...

So eventually he just glances away a little, sheepish.]

I never see a point in reading the menus...I've never been to places with much variety outside of that or dishes such as spicy tofu, which is too hot for me. If they had ramen or something maybe, but...

[But who sells ramen around here?]

[impheired]

Ugh, shit, why'd you have to bring that up? I wish they had ramen stands around here. I fucking miss the food stalls back home...

[WHERE IS THAT ASSHOLE HANAMURA WHEN YOU NEED HIM?]

But no, seriously. next time we go out, read the menu instead of just skipping straight to the salads. This place is way different than back home, after all. There might be more options than what you're used to.

[hamham]

Sorry... [He understands, he really wants some now too...]

I will take your advice, kyoudai. Next time I will pay more attention. Actually, if burgers like that truly exist, I would be very interested in trying them...

[That sounds??? Super good? Grilled vegetables are delicious if they don't grill them like a meat patty he bets those would be delicious too...]

[impheired]

[What do two guys have to do to get some authentic Japanese cuisine around here???]

Heh, next time then. [Now he can feel less guilty whenever they go to burger joints. Because he always feels kind of bad, since he's always the one eating actual food while Gundam just gets side dishes.] And hey, if you don't like it, you can always go back to salad. At least that seems to be consistent, no matter where you are.

[hamham]

[Seriously...maybe they should run a place together. How popular would that be.

And don't feel bad about that...that's such a silly thing to feel bad about. He likes salad? They make dinner sized salads you know! And he enjoys side dishes too? Relax brother.]

A relief, that. I'm not entirely sure how I would feel if salads weren't consistent.

[Like that'd be weird...and upsetting. Salads are delicious.]

[impheired]

[Where would they get the ingredients though...it wouldn't be authentic...]

I guess that would be a little weird...I mean, it's a pretty basic concept.

1/2

[hamham]

[Maybe they could learn how to make some of them...? God where is Hanamura when you need him?]

Exactly.

[Sure you can make them more complex, but the basic components are so simple...]

[hamham]

...then again, I suppose I wouldn't be all that unsettled. Sometimes my mother was capable of making salads completely inedible...

[Usually when she tried things like wilted salads, or tried to add things that just.............do not..............belong in salads............]

[impheired]

...how do you fuck up something like salad?

[He knows Gundam's mom is apparently a terrible cook, but...even he can make something as simple as a salad with no issue! It's not that hard!! How shitty of a cook do you even have to BE...]

[hamham]

As with most dishes, sometimes she would feel the need to add ingredients that did not belong to ensure I was consuming enough nutrients. Usually raw dishes like salads were not so much of a problem, but sometimes it would worry her. Other times she would attempt recipes that involved wilting the salad, meaning it involved cooking.

[She was Doing Her Best...]

Once I began yearning for vegetarian options, she became especially worried and would alter nearly everything she made to try and make up for the protein, vitamins and acids I was no longer consuming...

[impheired]

[He grimaces.]

Wilting a salad? That sounds disgusting, you're telling me that's actually something people make? On purpose?

[hamham]

It is, though I cannot truly attest to whether or not it's any good. Supposedly, when created by the right chef, it is very enjoyable. But the way my mother managed to turn it into...

[What's the word he's looking for here...]

...bitter mush...makes it rather unappetizing. Combined with adding fruits and other vegetables as well as nuts, seeds, supplements, even things such as honey...

[The look on his face makes it seem like he's reliving this particular food trauma. Do you know how bad that is, Fuyuhiko? A bitter, mushy dish with crunchy or sweet elements, or bitter supplements, or syrup.........he may have shuddered just a little bit there.]

I hesitate to actually try it made by anyone else.

[Like...there are not many things he isn't willing to try but that one thing in particular...]

[impheired]

[Fuyuhiko looks doubtful. It really just doesn't sound like there's any way to make something like wilted salad taste good.]

[But he can tell that this is clearly a distressing topic for Gundam, so he's not going to keep commenting on that. Please don't have a mental breakdown in the middle of the restaurant, kyoudai. HE'S SORRY HE BROUGHT THIS UP.]

I...see. [Oh god how does he salvage this conversation. How can he shift the topic to something else without it seeming really obvious or awkw-- oh hey, their food is here. He's saved. Since they both have to thank the waitress and get their plates all settled, the conversation will automatically be reset once they start eating! Victory!]