Private Channel

[impheired]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 *** NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded> but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.

Comments

[titularly]

don't worry about the details! just send that text to as many people as you can if you want to look normal ever again!!!

<NineHeaded>

[impheired]

i'm definitely not gonna do that. because i'm not a moron who believes chain letters have magic powers.

[titularly]

tsk tsk

it was nice knowing you... ill make sure we have a fancy grave set up for you....

[impheired]

like i could die so easily.
seriously though, who the hell is this? i'm pretty sure i didn't give this number out to anybody stupid enough to bother me with something like this.

[titularly]

it's osomatsu! i found your thing by entering random numbers!

[impheired]

[Oh goddammit.]

well that answers both my questions. don't ever send me anything like this again, got it?
seriously, even you can't be stupid enough to believe this, right?

[titularly]

well duh

i was the one who made it up.. pretty genius, right? i already got karamatsu and jyushimatsu sending it to a bunch of people!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ICON

[impheired]

genius is not the word i would use. you're THAT bored?

THE BEST ICON

[titularly]

pretty much, yeah

half of my brothers are never home because of work and the other half never wanna hang out with niisan! i gotta do something fun or ill die! ill seriously die!!

jfc

[impheired]

so i'm guessing that means YOU still haven't gotten a job then, huh?

[titularly]

im still looking!!!!

it just
hasnt been going well is all

i just thought i could mess around in between job searching, y'know?
have a little fun before i get tied down for life to a boring, no-fun job

[impheired]

uh huh.
so, you've been hardly looking instead of looking hard, am I right?

and you know, you'll still have time in between work for having fun.
it's not like once you get a job you suddenly lose all your free time, dumbass.

[titularly]

but arent jobs like tiring and stuff?
like you work all day and get home and eat and then go to bed

and then you have to get up the next day to re-do the same shit over and over again

[impheired]

depends on the job. how often you work, how long you work on a given day, what exactly you do, shit like that.

and if you can land a job doing something you like, it's not tiring at all.

[titularly]

do you think id be able to get a job i liked?

liiiiiiike a card dealer or a bartender or something at a stripclub or something?

[do you have any faith in his ability to land anything at all......]

[impheired]

what the fuck would you even do at a strip club?

[Disgusting. Doubly disgusting if Osomatsu intended to BE the stripper in that example. Though Fuyuhiko is pretty sure that's not what the man had in mind.]

[Dear god, please don't let that be what he had in mind.]

pretty sure you need training to be a bartender. so that's probably a no-go for you unless you want to actually go through with something like that.
card dealer you could probably manage though.

[titularly]

i dunno i was thinking i could be a bouncer or something? or an announcer guy or someone that works backstage? a host?

i aint strippin if thats what ur thinking
i wanna see strippers not get naked for cash

oh oh kuzuryuu-sama! youre like a yakuza right? do you think you could help me get a job in a casino or something? i bet youd be able to pretty easily