Voicemail (Cerealia)

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This is Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko. Obviously, I'm not here right now, so leave a message and maybe I'll get back to you later if it's not something stupid.

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[Hmm? Hinata looks at him thoughtfully. Is Kuzuryuu thinking about something? He can't really kokoronpa or anything, but he's getting that feeling.

However, he also came with another purpose today!!]

Valentine's Day is coming up soon, isn't it...

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Hm? [Oh god, a topic change. Just the thing he was looking for! Especially since that's a move in the complete opposite direction as far as topics go. However, he doesn't seem particularly interested in the topic itself.] Oh...yeah, I guess it is.

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...Not into Valentine's Day, Kuzuryuu? [WHAT A NOT SO GOOD START...]

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[He gives Hinata a somewhat scandalized look. He thought you knew him, bro. What did you expect?]

Of course not. Why would I care about a stupid holiday like that?

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[...ah...]

A lot of guys do, that's all. [...] What are you going to do if someone gives you chocolates?

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[There's a snort of laughter and he replies with a fair bit of confidence:]

I don't have to worry about something like that happening.

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[SLAMS HIS HANDS ON THE TABLE

YOU'VE GOT THAT WRONG!!]

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[Just kidding. The temptation is strong, but there is no actually hands on table slamming, just Hinata sitting there with eyebrows furrowed.]

But, hypothetically, let's say it did.

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[Kuzuryuu frowns slightly, but takes a moment to give the matter some thought anyway. It's Hinata asking, so he'll humor him and entertain the possibility of the impossible finally happening.]

[Okay, let's see here...of all the girls he knows, only three are Japanese. Meaning only three celebrate the holiday in the way they're discussing. Of those three, one is Peko, who's had years to give him chocolates for Valentine's but never has. Why start now? Plus she knows he's not overly crazy about chocolate. It's either too bitter or involves milk and, frankly, fuck that shit. So Peko would definitely never do something like this. No way.]

[The second is Kirigiri, who doesn't really strike him as the type to bother with Valentine's. And it's not like they even know each other all that well. He guesses she's slightly more likely than Peko?? But still not all that likely.]

[Which leaves Nonon. Who is...Nonon. Yeah. That'll happen when hell freezes over, he's pretty sure. She's out too.]

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[See? No matter how many times he goes over it, the end result is the same. Nobody would ever-- Wait. Hold up, there's a fourth possibility here that he hadn't considered initially!!]

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The only way I can possibly see that happening...is if it's from one of those deranged fans all of us seem to have. Y'know, the ones from that photoshoot last month? And if that's the case, I'm sure as hell not taking anything they give me.

[The fanmail, hell, the photoshoot in its entirety had been bad enough. He could do without a repeat performance, thanks. Especially since they'd surely only be MORE crazy on a day like Valentine's Day, compared to some random day in January.]

Hm...actually, it's a good thing you reminded me about Valentine's Day. Maybe I'll just spend the day as off the grid as I can manage in a place like this, just in case those nutjobs do try something. You probably should too, for that matter.

[What a good friend, Hinata. What would he do without you? Get jumped by fans again, probably.]

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...

[No... what has he done... Hinata resists the powerful urge to bury his face in his hands.]

But those guys haven't been around since we last saw them, yeah? [Off the grid...] I haven't noticed anyone following me around and trying to take pictures of me or anything like that.

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[This is the opposite of how this was supposed to go. What a fun report Hinata's going to have for Peko.]

Well sure but...isn't going unnoticed kind of part of being a stalker?

[Look, he's not taking any chances here if it means there's a possibility he'll get kidnapped. Again.]

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[He will dogeza for this. Legit.]

Y-- yeah, I guess so...

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[Well at least the event will kind of prevent him from actually boarding himself up in his room. That's a plus. Though it may also prevent Peko from doing the chocolate thing...]

Better safe than sorry. [He goes to take another bite of his sandwich, but stops before he actually gets it in his mouth. An thought seems to have occurred to him.] Wait, you weren't asking because you want to know what to do in case someone gives you chocolate, were you?

[Because you totally asked the wrong person, he has literally no experience in this area. His female classmates never seemed to like him much for some reason.]

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E-- eh?!

[...No. Actually. Okay, this can be a good save. Better he take the fall as an inexperienced guy who's never gotten chocolate than somehow expose Pekoyama. It's not untrue either, even if he's making plans for the 14th already in his head...

Hinata averts his gaze and rubs his cheek in a sheepish gesture.]

Well... I've never gotten chocolate before for Valentine's and I don't really know what to do besides say "thanks". And give someone back a gift on White Day...

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Not that I'm not flattered, but you probably would've done better asking... err. [Wow there are no good candidates from their class, even with Hanamura and Souda gone. And Tenka isn't here either, so he can't suggest him either.] Well, anyway, I can't tell you much better than that. Say thanks, don't be an asshole, give her something back on White Day.

[Well that's encouraging to hear at lest. Presumably he'll follow his own advice in the event ~someone~ does go through with giving him chocolate.]

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[Yes, you'd better take your own advice, Kuzuryuu!! The thought makes Hinata feel a little better about it even if part of him is troubled at the thought of imparting what he's learned to Pekoyama...]

Aa, thanks, Kuzuryuu. It helps even just hearing that I'm on the right track as is.