impheired | Private Channel

I'm good at all sorts of animal calls! Birds, squirrels, mice, you name it! [There was a pause after each animal name so that she could show off her skills, and they are all pretty spot on. She's not joking. And after that she flips her hair a little with pride.]

Just one of my many, many talents.

[The bird and squirrel calls were probably not the best idea, considering Fuyuhiko's fur stands on end as a result. But take that as a testament to your skill, Mabel. The dog part of his brain was apparently convinced.]

That's...quite the talent.

[Just trying to play it cool like he didn't just overreact to a bird call made by a 12 year old. Nope.]

[She totally saw the fur puffing, but she doesn't comment on it. Her smile just gets more triumphant instead.]

Thank you! I've got lots of talents. And one just haaaappens to be making great Valentine's Day gifts!

[And leading one conversation into another too apparently. That was so smooth.

She holds up the card for him to take. It's a red card with "Happy Valentine's Day" written on it in glitter on the front. It kind of bulges out some, like there's something taped inside of it. And it is sprinkling glitter, like maybe a little too much was used on it.]

[YOU SAW NOTHING.]

[But wow, yeah, talk about smooth there. Fuyuhiko takes the card, getting glitter all over his paws in the process before opening it up. What is inside this card then, huh?]

[Well first of all there's lots of hearts, and a short message on the left side of the card:

Happy Valentine's Day (something intensely scribbled out) Kuzuryuu! I don't really know how they do Valentine's Day in Japan, so I hope this is okay! I hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever full of lots of love and candy and good friends!

❤ Mabel!

On the other side is some cute drawings of werewolves and bones and and a Cat-icature of Fuyuhiko himself. There's also two different suckers taped there, with one head on each side, right in the middle! A creamy gold one which reads Butterscotch Sundae and a red and white swirled one which reads "Cherry Cheesecake". Which is probably what caused the bulge.

There's copious amounts of glitter hearts all over the inside of the card as well. Mabel meanwhile is waiting with a hopeful expression.]

[Why is the fact that she corrected her misspelling of his name at the last minute so endearing? What the hell. In spite of himself, a small smile plays around the corner of the heir's mouth.]

[Though dear lord why is there so much glitter. This is going to be stuck in his fur for days.]

Thanks, Mabel. [Hair ruffle? Hair ruffle.] Though...why am I a cat?

It's a cat-icature, one'a my specialties! It's like a caricature, except you're a cat! Everybody loves them! [Everyone back home, anyways.]

I didn't know what kind of treat to get you, and all the highschool punks on tv are always eating suckers to look legally tough, so I thought those would be good. Plus they had soooooo many fun flavors! It was hard to just pick two!

Cat-icature. [I'm sorry, did I say hair ruffle? What I meant was forehead shove. That's what she's getting. Because that was one of the worst puns he's ever heard.]

[At least it's a gentle face shove though.]

Well at least you didn't get me dog treats. Girls give guys chocolate on Valentine's in Japan, but my classmates covered that pretty well already so a little variety is nice.

[Also he's...not sure if he can even eat chocolate anymore???]

[That forehead push gets a laugh and her hand coming up to push him back a little.]

Why would someone get you dog treats? I think Milkbone is the only kind that's actually any good, and they don't sell those here from what I've seen. But I don't think even Milkbones would be a very good Valentine's Day treat, much less any of the others. [How does she know this...]

Though can you eat chocolate? Werewolves are part dog right? Dogs can't eat chocolate...

[Like, that's pretty poisonous to dogs right...?]

[Fuyuhiko's eye twitches at the word "milkbone". He's sure it's just a name and probably has nothing to do with actual milk but UGH FUCK THAT WORD.]

I dunno what the fuck a "Milkbone" is but it sounds fucking awful. Though why do you know what dog treats taste like...

[We'll get back to the chocolate thing in a second but first we have to address that little bit of "what the hell, Mabel???"]

It's a brand of dog biscuits! And I make it a goal to taste test every dog treat that enters the house! You don't want to give your dog something that tastes gross, y'know? They're part of your family, they should get things that taste good too!

[Obviously. Doesn't everyone do that?]

...and some of them actually taste pretty good. Did you know Milkbone biscuits are surprisingly healthy? They're like, definitely human grade food, and they're pretty great for snacking on if you have something to drink with them. They're really dry, but tasty.

[NO?????? NO EVERYBODY DOES NOT DO THAT, YOU STRANGE CHILD.]

Okay, I guess I get where you're coming from with that, and it's uh...considerate? But...you know a dog's sense of taste isn't the same as a human's, right?

[Also that's just...]

[Why.]

[Just why.]

I don't know, they like all the delicious stuff that I like. I think we had pretty similar tastes!

[Because that's clearly what that means. Dogs like pizza, bacon, hamburgers, candy like...come on.]

Trust me, it's different.

[Though he's speaking less out of experience as a part-dog and more out of "living with the Super High School Level Animal Breeder for half a year" experience.]

But going back to the chocolate thing...I'm actually not sure. This is the first time the issue's come up, so I'm gonna wait till the fog's over to test it. I mean...I'm not actually a dog so I'd think I'm fine, but... [He drags a paw down the side of his face, probably getting glitter all over his cheek.] my tastes aren't the same as they used to be before the whole werewolf thing, so who the fuck knows.

[There's a little stifling of laughter, sort of just a snort of it but you can tell it's there, at the glitter getting all over his cheek.]

Okay, I trust you. And yeah it's...pfftt...it's probably better to wait. Don't want to get sick eating all that yummy chocolate. That'd be the worst!

Pfft---

[Nope, can't help herself, she's giggling.]

[Look, he can't help that his cheeks are mostly furry now. Glitter and fur really don't mix well at all! Now he is a sparkly shiba.]

What're you laughing at, huh?

Y-you've got glitter on your cheek and in your f...fffhahahaha!!

[Nope, those giggles are laughs now, because that just looks so silly! All over in his fur like that...she knows it's her fault, but she just can't help it.]

What? [He takes a look at his paw and, sure enough, there's way more glitter there than he was expecting.] Augh, dammit!

[He shakes his hand off, doing his best to rid it of all the sparkly flakes before blindly wiping at his cheek. It's...not working as well as he's hoping. Now his cheek fur is all fluffed out and only some of the glitter is actually gone.]

What'd you use this much for, anyway? Jeez, there's enough here for a whole 'nother card.

[And there's just another snort of laughter at the fluff, because it looks even more ridiculous. At least she's wiping her hands off on her sweater though and reaching up to try and help him. Huzzah for arms twice the length of your entire body. No need to bend down to receive assistance!]

H-here, here, let me help. You just fluffed up your fur instead of getting anything out of it. And I used a lot because cards need a lot!

[He stops trying to get the glitter off his face and just lets Mabel do her thing instead. Though he does look a little sulky still.]

I'd hate to see how much of this stuff you used total, if this is the right amount for one card...

Weeelllll I did make three others.

[A lot. She used a lot. Her and Dipper's room is probably nothing but glitter at this point. They don't sleep in beds, they just sleep in piles of glitter and craft supplies.]

Almost got it...

[Fuyuhiko's eye widens a little in surprise.]

...only four, really?

[He pretty much expected her to all but skip through the streets, flinging sweets at everybody she came across. Especially If she made him one?? He did not realize he was quite so special.]

I wanted to make more, but I didn't have the supplies. Or the money to get more supplies...

[And this is actually pretty disappointing, judging by the way she's pouting.]

If I could make one for everyone I would have...I'm going to have to stockpile for next year.

Ah.

[What the hell though, WHY NOT ASK THE GRUNKLES FOR MORE MOOLAH?]

Well I'm...flattered to be included in that four, in that case. [Okay, well more like stunned mostly but...flattered too, yes. The concept of people outside of his family (both blood and otherwise) is still kind of a strange one, but...feels good, man. Feels good.]

[She doesn't really know how much moolah they have! She's pretty used to Stan being kinda stingy, okay. He's a great guy but he does not like parting with his money. Besides she thinks he works in like...body...parts...? So who knows how much of his money is actually money..........]

You're welcome! And there, all better. For the most part. There's still some glitter there, but at least it's not all glitter and all floof now.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 * NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded>** but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.

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