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Voicemail (Cerealia)
This is Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko. Obviously, I'm not here right now, so leave a message and maybe I'll get back to you later if it's not something stupid.
((Please put the ic date and video/voice/text/action in the header of your comment! Thanks!))
((Please put the ic date and video/voice/text/action in the header of your comment! Thanks!))
text; he's just inching closer and closer to an early grave
And I wouldn't mind getting to know you better, myself! Preferably over a meal, of course.
Do you have any favorites that I could make? <3
text; he really is. slow your roll there, lil meatball
[YOU'LL DO SOMETHING WEIRD TO THE FOOD. OR SAY IT'S A DATE.]
[OR BOTH.]
[AND STOP WITH THE TEXT HEARTS.]
text; never, this meatball will keep rolling
We could talk about whatever you'd like! It's you who would be the topic of the day, after all!! <3 <3
[IT'D BE A DATE but he only openly says that to hinata lets be real
also no the hearts are important to convey his feelings
kuzuryuu needs to know he's trying to be open and harmless, by wearing his heart on his sleeve!!!!]
text; winning over kuzuryuu requires a more delicate approach than you are using!!
[Any and all FTEing needs a chaperon until such a time that Hanamura proves himself capable of controlling his perversion around Kuzuryuu and his delicate sensibilities.]
text; gentle has no place in the kitchen or the bedroom!!!
You are definitely hard to be friends with, you know? But it's not in my nature to give up so easily!
What would it take to get you to say yes, Kuzuryuu-kun? Perhaps the perfect third wheel, like Hinata-kun?
[shsl harmless makes a great third wheel right]
text; SAYS YOU
[Most people do not want to be friends with him. You gotta work for those FTEs with this asshole.]
Or you could just stop being a creep and making it sound like you're trying to take me out on a date.
text; BUT OF COURSE I AM AN EXPERT IN THESE THINGS
[That would've had a lot of stuttering in person, of course.
BUT YOU'RE TEACHING HIM KAZOO maybe he'll be not so gross someday...
He's also not giving up. Not yet!!]
Alright, alright... if you had to choose, where would you like to go?
An outing as friends, that's all!
text; WELL YOU'RE NOT AN EXPERT IN COURTING KAZOO APPARENTLY. YOU'RE FAILING.
[He will teach you the ways of being a prude, just you wait!]
I don't know, just somewhere normal?
[Where do people go to hang out with friends, he doesn't know. He didn't get the chance to FTE with anybody until they were locked in the funhouse. And then after that he just took Hinata back to his room...]
[Hello, my name is Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu and I have no idea how to hang out with people like a normal person.]
text; HES TRYIN OKAY
Normal... normal.......]
Perhaps a mall? Surely a large city would have a mall, and friends have outings together in places like that all the time!
[That's normal enough, right?? Don't ask him, he's a country kid -]
text; he is, bless his greasy lil heart
[He's trying to find the option that is absolutely as far away from dating as you can get.]
[There's a span of a few minutes before Kuzuryuu finally texts back. Mostly because he's staring at the screen in disbelief over what he's about to text next.]
Fine. But you make one off-color comment or try and say it's a date and I'm gone.
[He regrets his choice already. Fuck, this was a bad idea.]
text; next to infinite ham that has to be the funniest thing i've heard tonight
TERUTERU: 4, WEIRD CITY: 0!!
There's another lapse in replying here, but that's mostly because he has to do a little victory dance over on his end.
And his reply might come with a little more excitement than intended:]
Yep yep, I'll hold my tongue around you, I promise!
Ah, but this is the non-lethal kind of promise, so if I somehow break it please leave my body intact!
But it's still a promise! You have my word as a chef!!
text; where is the lie though.
I said I'd just leave, didn't I? So if you fuck this up, I'll leave your body intact but you won't get another chance.
[So don't fuck it up if you want to get past FTE #1. Though why would you want to?]
[Hanamura, are you sure you can last that long without making any kind of innuendos...]
text; absolutely no lie here
Right, right, of course!
I won't waste this chance, then! I swear on my honor in the kitchen!
So... when would you like to do this? I'll go with whatever is best for you, Kuzuryuu-kun!
[... if he needs to, he'll write a big notebook of things he shouldn't say.
Actually, that's probably exactly what he'll do. It seems like a good idea, anyway!!]
text;
[Ever.]
[Kuzuryuu just doesn't do the friends with benefits thing. Also: you're disgusting.]
It's not like I really have anything pressing or important to do around here. The 15th, I guess?
[Seems as good a day as any.]
text;
Yes yes, the 15th is absolutely fine!!
Perhaps around noon? Noon seems like a good time to me!
text;
Yeah sure.