impheired | Voicemail (Cerealia)

[NEVER.]

Yeah, I'm settling in as well as I can be, I guess. Mostly just trying to get a feel for this place still.

I'm fine for now, but thanks for the offer.

[Is it just me or is he even less talkative in text format.]

[You and Peko both clearly need to work on your friendship skills. No wonder you two get along so well you're both socially inept.]

I'm glad! It's kind of a weird city but it's pretty okay once you get used to it. And you know, when it's not trying to kill you. Which thankfully isn't very often from what I've seen...and there are lots of helpful people around! Oh, you could probably get a CYbuddy to help you with that! They're like pets, but they come in all sorts of animals like cats and foxes and dinosaurs! And because they're robots, they help navigate and stuff too, which is really helpful! Obviously real pets are better but they can be pretty handy.

You're welcome! The offer will always be there too! So even after a few months you're sitting around like, "I could really use some juice but it's so expensive," you can call me up and I'll totally get you some on discount. I've got coupons and stuff for basically everything.

Not that juice is actually all that expensive but you know what I mean. Point is I've got you covered!

[That's okay. He's allowed to be as talkative or not as talkative as he wants. Mabel's not going to judge.]

I'm not getting one of those weird robot animals though, no way in hell. I don't trust robots, especially ones that look like animals. If you have one already, you should really consider destroying it, because nothing good can come from that sort of thing. If they don't end up "malfunctioning" and turning on their owners at some point, I'll be fucking stunned.

[Man it's like a robotic animal once tried to kill him or something.]

[Someone's a little salty aren't they?]

Really? What makes you say that though? I mean I got one for Dipper, because he's never had a pet before and I got to keep Waddles, so I felt bad...I'd feel bad destroying it too. :( Mystery is really nice, and really helpful, and he and Waddles get along great! He doesn't seem all that dangerous?? As long as you keep them away from any rogue AI programs they should be fine, right?

[NOW LISTEN...YOU'D BE SALTY TOO IF A ROBOTIC BEAR WAS THE REASON YOU NO LONGER HAVE FULL RANGE OF VISION.]

I'd rather not talk about it. Just trust me on this one.

[You have not gone through enough FTEs to unlock his traumatic backstory. Also he doesn't want to share over the CEREvice because he doesn't trust those either.]

I mean...I guess I overreacted a little by saying I don't trust robots. Because, you're right, not ALL robots are bad. I suppose it comes down to the maker more than the robot but fuck if I really know anything about that crap. Either way, from everything I've heard about the people running this place, I don't think they can really be trusted.

Edited 2015-03-31 02:41 (UTC)

[Who hurt you, Kuzuryuu?]

Oh, okay! Though that makes sense, yeah. But I hope that isn't the case. I mean why would you do something like that to animals of all things...robot people make sense, you see that all the time in movies and stuff. And don't even get me started about animatronics and junk from pizzerias, but just regular animals...

You just shouldn't do anything bad to animal anythings! They're cute and they're supposed to make you happy! So if there really is something wrong with the CYbuddies, I'm going to be pretty upset with these CERES people!

[He did, tbh.]

This is one of the few instances where I can honestly say I wouldn't mind being wrong. But I'm not holding my breath on that one.

[Just you wait. CYbuddy revolution. It's going to happen. He is a prophet.]

Well then it's a case of hope for the best and prepare for the worst! I'll just knit Mystery a straight jacket and if the time comes to use it, then I guess we'll have to use it! >:( But until then, he can keep being a cute little fox friend for Dipper.

I think you'll need more than a straight jacket if something like that happens.

Really?? Hmm...I could get a kennel too maybe! That'd help, right?

Oh!! Maybe I'll get one of those dinosaur pets, yeah! And if Mystery starts getting out of line, RAWR!!!!! That one will keep him in check! >:F

Stop and think about that for a second and realize the problem with that plan.

[You're going to get...a robot...to potentially stop another robot if it goes crazy. Are you seeing the problem with this plan, Mabel, there's one huge flaw.]

[There are a few minutes on her side before she replies.]

I'm sure you can train the dinosaur not to eat the fox! Just because he's a predator by nature doesn't mean he can't be taught not to eat his fellow pets!

[Mabel, are you stupid?]

No, that's not the problem, dumbass! The problem is that your safeguard against a robot attack is ANOTHER GODDAMN ROBOT. You think the dinosaur will somehow not have the same problem as the fox if there's some secret kill switch on these things?

Edited 2015-03-31 03:23 (UTC)

[She's not stupid! She just thinks about different problems than others do sometimes, okay? That could be a legitimate problem you know! What if the T-Rex still wants to eat other animals, huh? Something you gotta think about!]

Oh right, duh. Wow go me. Well then...I don't know how I'll stop Mystery if he goes crazy. But I'll figure something out, don't worry. It can't be that hard to deal with.

[Also man you have a serious potty mouth on you don't you? Someone obviously didn't wash your mouth out with soap enough when you were little.]

[Not only did his parents not wash his mouth out with soap, they actually encouraged his speech pattern.]

Go you. Whatever I guess. Your safest bet is still just to get rid of the damn thing though.

I just can't do that...I'd feel really bad. And like I'd need to get him a different pet, but all the pets here are robots! So that wouldn't work...

[Way to go Kuzuryuu. You managed to make probably the cheeriest girl in the world sad.]

[There's a slight delay before Kuzuryuu's next response. Because shit, Mabel's a kid isn't she? He totally upset her by getting carried away there with his robo-animal-hatred. Um...gotta fix that.]

Well for now just keep an eye on it, yeah? Maybe keep something that can short circuit it handy?

Okay...we can do that, yeah.

[What could she even use though man...she could keep a bottle of water around maybe? Would water short circuit them they're covered in fur...]

[He was thinking like...a taser...that can overload a robot and make it short circuit, right? He doesn't know shit about sci fi...]

[There's another pause though.]

Sorry, I wasn't trying to freak you out. I got carried away.

Oh no, I'm not freaked out or anything! I just wish they had real animals here instead. I mean a real animal is better than a robot any day, but they don't have them so I thought that'd be okay.

And also I don't really know how to short circuit these things. I mean I'm pretty sure they're a lot more technical and stuff than the animatronics and stuff from home. And I don't even really know how to short circuit those.

[Though you know now that she thinks about it she should probably learn. She's already gotten one reason why, she doesn't need to be caught with her skirt down if it happens again ever.]

But it takes waaaaay more than killer robots to freak me out! You are looking at one little girl with nerves of steel here! If they flip out, I've got a golf club with Mystery's name on it!

Edited 2015-04-05 23:27 (UTC)

[MAN IT'S A SHAME HE CAN'T INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS SORT-OF PAL GUNDAM, MABEL. HE HAS HAMSTERS, THEY'RE GREAT.]

Nerves of steel, huh? Well I guess I don't have to worry about watching what I say around you then. [Im...plying he was watching his words until now???] But there you go, that'll work if nothing else does. That's usually a pretty safe backup plan.

[AW...THAT SOUNDS REALLY GREAT. HAMSTERS ARE GREAT. THEY'RE SO CUTE. AND THEY'RE LUCKY THEY GET TO RUN IN THESE GIANT to them BALLS AND AND AND]

Nope! I've seen it all! There's nothing you could say that could scare me, guaranteed! But alright, if that sounds like it'll work, that's what I'll do for now. And maybe I'll look into other ways too. Since I'm the only one with a weapon out of the two of us. Or maybe I'll get him a golf club too, but he's not very good at golf so idk if that'd be any help.

Edited 2015-04-07 02:44 (UTC)

[He's pretty sure there's plenty he could say that would scare her, but they haven't FTE'd even close to enough times for him to broach that subject with her. So he's leaving that alone.]

You don't really have to be good at golf to hit something with a golf club. You just...need good aim and a little upper body strength.

Voicemail (Cerealia)

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