impheired | Private Channel

yeah, that's fine. i live a little ways out of bavan anyway so it's probably mre of a walk for you.
but...you live in a shack?

[Wow call child services on your Grunkles because what the fuck. That is no place for a child to live? He knows this place is kinda shitty but come on, Tikbalang is there to solve all your real estate problems.]

i don't mind a walk, but okay, we'll meet there!
and no no, i don't live IN a shack. that's just what our house is called! it's the mystery shack, so we just cal it the shack, but its an okay place.
a litle small with so many people living here now but it's good!

[For real though, this probably wouldn't be the first time child services would have been called on the Grunkles.]

i see. ok then, which park?

[She gives him the park name and lets him know that she'll see him there, since she's not going to bother bringing her laptop.

And soon she's waiting in the park, a card in hand. She'd sit on one of the benches but...it's kind of uncomfortable with the way her legs are arranged now, so standing around will just have to do. Maybe admiring the branches of some of the trees nearby...]

[It's a bit of a walk for Fuyuhiko, so unfortunately Mabel's going to be waiting for a bit. Sorry about that, friend. But he reserves running on four legs like an animal for emergencies only. Even though that would have gotten him there much faster.]

[But eventually he does show up, paws shoved into his pockets and looking quite a bit more dog-like since the last time Mabel saw him. He has ears now and a little wet black dog nose. And those weird little curly patches of fur? Apparently those were flames.]

[He pulls one of his paws out of his pocket as he approaches though, raising it in greeting.]

Yo, Mabel. [Over here friend, here he i-- what the hell happened to your legs. WHAT SORT OF MONSTER...]

Kuzuryuu! [Weird things happened to her legs. What sort of monster? A good question. But she doesn't just rush over there to greet him because of those legs, kind of awkwardly approaching him instead. But the enthusiasm is there though, smile bright and she's practically radiating with glee. Up close he'll probably be able to notice that she got shorter too with those new legs. Like a lot shorter. She's lost at least seven or eight inches here.]

You've got ears now! And a little nose! Are those flames?

Edited 2016-02-16 01:30 (UTC)

Yeah...I've got the whole canine package now, I guess. [Don't sound so excited there, bucko.] And you've got...well I dunno what you've got going on with your legs there, exactly.

[Actually he feels a little bad for not meeting her at the Mystery Shack, despite the fact that she was the one who said they shouldn't. Because jesus, those legs....and she's so tiny now?]

Still no clue what monster you are, huh?

That's so cool...I don't know what I am yet nope, but I can't wait to find out! I want the whole package too!

[Like can you imagine if she were some kind of cat monster? Getting cute ears and whiskers and fur and a little wet nose...that'd be great!]

Can I pet your head? It looks really soft! I promise I'm really gentle and good at petting! No fur pulling at all!

...

[UGH. Petting...an idea he utterly detests, but as he learned during last month's bloody bones debacle, it's really hard to say "no" when it's a kid asking that question. The downside to letting families with small, deformed children stay at your castle for a few weeks. They all want to pet your fuzzy back.]

[So Fuyuhiko sighs, kneeling down to Mabel's level so that she can actually reach the top of his head. Go on. Get it out of your system! If you really must!!!]

With legs and arms like that, you could be a manticore? One of the cat monsters. Maybe your fur and paws just haven't come in yet.

[Because she's clearly not one of the weres. That's really easy to figure out once you actually get physical changes. And he's not sure what else would have weird digitigrade legs...]

[As promised she is very gentle and kind with her pets, making a soft and excited sound. Pets! His fur is soooo soft...]

I would love that! Cats are basically the best. Did you know I can sound exactly like a cat?

[Too bad she's not a were...she'd love to have been a werewolf of some kind!]

[It is very soft, it's true. Nice, thick shiba inu fur. His ears twitch a little as she pets his head. Okay, are you satisfied now? Can he stand back up? This was enough pets for you, right?]

I didn't know that, no. But can't most people make a sound like a cat?

Yeah but I can sound like a real cat.

[She removes her hand from his head (so yes, he can stand back up now), puffs out her chest a little proudly and...does a pretty good mimic of a cat noise actually.]

See?

[He is free. Stands up immediately.]

Heh. That's pretty convincing, you're right. Almost had me fooled for a minute there.

I'm good at all sorts of animal calls! Birds, squirrels, mice, you name it! [There was a pause after each animal name so that she could show off her skills, and they are all pretty spot on. She's not joking. And after that she flips her hair a little with pride.]

Just one of my many, many talents.

[The bird and squirrel calls were probably not the best idea, considering Fuyuhiko's fur stands on end as a result. But take that as a testament to your skill, Mabel. The dog part of his brain was apparently convinced.]

That's...quite the talent.

[Just trying to play it cool like he didn't just overreact to a bird call made by a 12 year old. Nope.]

[She totally saw the fur puffing, but she doesn't comment on it. Her smile just gets more triumphant instead.]

Thank you! I've got lots of talents. And one just haaaappens to be making great Valentine's Day gifts!

[And leading one conversation into another too apparently. That was so smooth.

She holds up the card for him to take. It's a red card with "Happy Valentine's Day" written on it in glitter on the front. It kind of bulges out some, like there's something taped inside of it. And it is sprinkling glitter, like maybe a little too much was used on it.]

[YOU SAW NOTHING.]

[But wow, yeah, talk about smooth there. Fuyuhiko takes the card, getting glitter all over his paws in the process before opening it up. What is inside this card then, huh?]

[Well first of all there's lots of hearts, and a short message on the left side of the card:

Happy Valentine's Day (something intensely scribbled out) Kuzuryuu! I don't really know how they do Valentine's Day in Japan, so I hope this is okay! I hope you have the best Valentine's Day ever full of lots of love and candy and good friends!

❤ Mabel!

On the other side is some cute drawings of werewolves and bones and and a Cat-icature of Fuyuhiko himself. There's also two different suckers taped there, with one head on each side, right in the middle! A creamy gold one which reads Butterscotch Sundae and a red and white swirled one which reads "Cherry Cheesecake". Which is probably what caused the bulge.

There's copious amounts of glitter hearts all over the inside of the card as well. Mabel meanwhile is waiting with a hopeful expression.]

[Why is the fact that she corrected her misspelling of his name at the last minute so endearing? What the hell. In spite of himself, a small smile plays around the corner of the heir's mouth.]

[Though dear lord why is there so much glitter. This is going to be stuck in his fur for days.]

Thanks, Mabel. [Hair ruffle? Hair ruffle.] Though...why am I a cat?

It's a cat-icature, one'a my specialties! It's like a caricature, except you're a cat! Everybody loves them! [Everyone back home, anyways.]

I didn't know what kind of treat to get you, and all the highschool punks on tv are always eating suckers to look legally tough, so I thought those would be good. Plus they had soooooo many fun flavors! It was hard to just pick two!

Cat-icature. [I'm sorry, did I say hair ruffle? What I meant was forehead shove. That's what she's getting. Because that was one of the worst puns he's ever heard.]

[At least it's a gentle face shove though.]

Well at least you didn't get me dog treats. Girls give guys chocolate on Valentine's in Japan, but my classmates covered that pretty well already so a little variety is nice.

[Also he's...not sure if he can even eat chocolate anymore???]

[That forehead push gets a laugh and her hand coming up to push him back a little.]

Why would someone get you dog treats? I think Milkbone is the only kind that's actually any good, and they don't sell those here from what I've seen. But I don't think even Milkbones would be a very good Valentine's Day treat, much less any of the others. [How does she know this...]

Though can you eat chocolate? Werewolves are part dog right? Dogs can't eat chocolate...

[Like, that's pretty poisonous to dogs right...?]

[Fuyuhiko's eye twitches at the word "milkbone". He's sure it's just a name and probably has nothing to do with actual milk but UGH FUCK THAT WORD.]

I dunno what the fuck a "Milkbone" is but it sounds fucking awful. Though why do you know what dog treats taste like...

[We'll get back to the chocolate thing in a second but first we have to address that little bit of "what the hell, Mabel???"]

It's a brand of dog biscuits! And I make it a goal to taste test every dog treat that enters the house! You don't want to give your dog something that tastes gross, y'know? They're part of your family, they should get things that taste good too!

[Obviously. Doesn't everyone do that?]

...and some of them actually taste pretty good. Did you know Milkbone biscuits are surprisingly healthy? They're like, definitely human grade food, and they're pretty great for snacking on if you have something to drink with them. They're really dry, but tasty.

[NO?????? NO EVERYBODY DOES NOT DO THAT, YOU STRANGE CHILD.]

Okay, I guess I get where you're coming from with that, and it's uh...considerate? But...you know a dog's sense of taste isn't the same as a human's, right?

[Also that's just...]

[Why.]

[Just why.]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, NINEHEADED. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 009.21.328.89 * NineHeaded has joined 009.21.328.89 <NineHeaded> this is kuzuryuu fuyuhiko. <NineHeaded> you're probbaly better off coming to find me than leaving a message on this piece ofshit. <NineHeaded>** but whatever. if it's not stupid,i'll get back to you whenever i open my laptop again.

<NineHeaded>

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<NineHeaded>

<sweaterweather> ==>> action;

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